What people really want for Christmas

“Ho Ho Ho” ~ Santa Claus 🎅

Did you know Huberman is another version of Santa? He has the same beard, a bit less weight, and everyone wants to sit on his lap 🤪

Speaking of Santa, do you know what the best gift is for people? Let’s get into the science.

Happiness Experts Lizz Dunn, British Columbia, Jamil Zaki, Stanford, and Nick Epley, Uni of Chicago. studied the science of gift-giving. And they found these 3 are the most happiness-improving gifts. (Full podcast)

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1. Buy something that saves time

Who likes doing errands? Who likes driving in traffic? Who likes making long phone calls?

No one does. So that’s the best gift you can give.

Pay for a week of babysitting of someone else, do someone’s laundry, sign them up to the gym, pay for a parking spot, teach them how to meal prep, fix their coffee machine that they’ve been needing to fix.

2. Buy co-experiences

The studies showed that experiences are better than things. Experiences are usually temporary things. So a vacation, a concert, or a marathon. These aren’t material things - like a car or phone.

The reason for that is something called ‘hedonic adapatation’.

It states that our brain gets used to things. They asked people who won the lottery and bought fancy cars. How did it feel? It felt great.. for the first 2 days. Then it was just sitting there. Did you pay all that for 2 days of happiness?

It happened to me. I bought the iPhone 15 last week. I was excited. 1 week later, I don’t even care. It was underwhelming.

Things do not make you happy. Experiences do.

Ideas: Get a book that you can read together, get concert tickets, get a massage, sign them up for a dance subscription or Spanish classes, go watch their sports match, sit with them at work if they can’t take the day off, etc.

Rare vacations and activities are more memorable than stuff, and make much better Christmas presents.

3. Just ask them what they want!

You know the ‘but if I tell him I want flowers… it’s not as good as if he just brought them on his own 😫😫'. Well, science says otherwise

If you say you want to go to the Eminem concert and I buy it for you... you won’t be sad. Nope.

You’ll be happy.

Ideas: Check their Amazon shopping cart, the book on their reading list, bucket list, guess, orrrrrrr just ask. ‘Hey X, I want to get you a Christmas gift. What do you want?’ 99% of the times, it’s not clothes, souvenirs, or a food.

Worst case scenario: give 5 options and let them choose. Don’t overthink it.

Nice. Now you know which 3 gifts help the most. Experience, time saver, or what they already want.

So. Based on that umm. which gift do you wish someone brought you? Technically Christmas already passed. And you might’ve been waiting for a gift.

Hubermanner, which gift do you wish is waiting for you under the Christmas tree?

Think about it for a second. From basketball tickets to someone doing the dishes to a set of hot sauces you want to try. What’s the gift you really really wish you got?

Gifts don’t need to cost money btw. I’d say writing this to you is kind of a gift, even though it doesn’t look like a gift, right? It can be anything.

Nice. So, either get that gift for yourself or tell someone to get it for you (again, it doesn’t make it worse to say what you want).

Spending time & money on you is a sense of agency and gratitude. You worked so you can afford this. Reap the fruits of your labor.

Here’s my Christmas present. It made me so happy:

It’s a deck of cards with deep questions. I met over 50 strangers in these 2 days just by giving them these cards😊😊 in the elevator, at the beach, in a cafe, anywhere. I just give them a card and learn their story.

Side tip: If you’re celebrating with the family, pleaseeee ask the deeper questions. You’ll become closer in 2 hours than you did in the past 2 years.

Some of the best presents are free. And most others are cheap.

Action item: Find the gift/experience you or a loved one wants more than anything else.

A gift is an experience or time-saver, not a mug.

It’s the feeling of doing a dance class for the first time or creating a long-lost friend group Zoom call.

Get 1 gift for you or 1 gift for someone who deserves the recognition. It’s okay to think of goo ideas or ask ChatGPT.

Don’t go to the mall. Search on Groupon or Entertainer or eventbrite.

Christmas reminders:

1. Be around fun people (matching autonomic arousals)

2. If you get a good gift, tell the other person how much it means to you (gratitude)

3. Ask deeper questions. If you feel conversations are surface-level, it’s not because the people are shallow. It’s your fault. Dig deep to ask the right questions. (love & connection)

4. Don’t expect holidays to be perfect, things happen. (dopamine adjustment)

5. Listen to a bunch of Christmas songs 🥳 (music science)

Anyway. I wish you a merry merry Christmas! I hope the holidays set you free and you can refocus on health, happiness, and ambition🌞😀.

Now to end it with what my mom usually sends for Christmas:

😂

p.s. People really love receiving gifts. I hope this email gave you perspective and ideas on which gifts people love the most. And it’ll be awesome if you gave that joy. So take the action.

Try to get a gift that saves time or creates an experience for someone. It’ll take you like 5 minutes max after closing this email.

Anyway, Merry Christmas <3! The person receiving your gift is very lucky.