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- How to get over entitlement
if you expect something to be really terrific it places a higher expectation at the chemical level.
I have, I wouldn't call it an addiction. I would call it more of an affliction for croissants. The best vegetable of course, is the croissant.
I get really excited about the fact that someone will tell me, ‘oh there's this place and they have incredible croissants. You gotta go there.’ So I get really excited, and I'll go. And just them telling me that it's gonna be really terrific raises an expectation.
And unless those croissants are amazing chances are I'm going to experience them as less good, less satisfying. I will truly release less dopamine than I would had they just said, oh yeah, I think that there are croissants down the street.
That's because of this reward prediction error. Your expectation of something releases dopamine and the actual event releases dopamine. And if the event related dopamine does not exceed the expectation or at least match it, you’ll be less satisfied
When you expect something to be a certain way, and it doesn’t match the expectation, you feel dissatisfied. No matter how good it is. This applies to career, work, life, and relationships.
When you have this unarticulated vision of how someone should be, or how the world should function, or how a croissant🥐 should taste, you become like a perfectionist. And you’ll never notice the good stuff.
Oftentimes, people say the younger generation is entitled.
Entitlement is the expectation that the world and people should treat you in a particular way. And if anything breaks from that ideal, you get frustrated.
Traffic, people being late, food not tasting good, partner getting angry, the internet being slow, not looking fabulous, etc.
Things are good 95% of the time, and if they’re not for 5%, we’re disappointed. This is the opposite of gratitude! We ignore the 95% because of the 5%.
Action for the day
Throughout your day, you will find times when things aren’t as good as you think. And in those moments, ask yourself “Am I setting weird expectations?“
Real-world examples: Be flexible with time. If someone says they’ll be there in 5 minutes, and they arrive in 15, it’s okay. If your car or cab breaks down, no need to feel mega sad. If the food tastes meh, it’s okay.
You, things, and people aren’t supposed to be perfect all the time.
Appreciate the 95%, don’t criticize the 5%
Alright, all for today.
Go have an amazing average day, why raise our expectations and get disappointed? :)
Note: If you prefer having high standards and stress all the time to push yourself, I understand. This is a mechanism in our minds. You can choose if mental health or performance is a priority. Up to you!
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