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- How To Be More Empathetic
You know when there's tension between you and someone over something that isn’t even that major? You want to find common ground but can’t. Well, cognitive scientists studied this. And their advice can help you overcome this challenge.
It's clear based on the emerging literature, in romantic relationships, and to some extent, in friendships, that emotional empathy and cognitive empathy are both required in order to establish what we call a trusting social bond - Andrew Huberman
Emotional empathy is your ability to feel with the other person at a physiological level. Ex: You cry when they cry.
Cognitive empathy is your ability to understand the logic behind the logic. When you 'put yourself in their shoes' and can understand exactly what triggers a thought or emotion.
Today, we’ll dive into cognitive empathy. It especially helps when there’s a logical disagreement. You learn to think from the other side, treat each other well, and resolve the problem together.
They did an experiment on this. So they actually did neuroimaging while two people were playing a ‘trust’ game. And they found that the more cognitive and emotional empathy two people shared, the more likely they are to trust, cooperate, and resolve conflict.
Keep in mind. The fact that they were able to understand each others’ perspectives was enough to create trust. They did not even agree with each other.
They passed through the cognitive reasoning that precedes their final logic. So whether your partner said something hurtful, your boss disrespected you, or your friend disagrees with your political belief. Ask yourself things like”
“Why did they get that belief? How’s their day going? Are they busy? What are they really looking for but not saying out loud?”
If you approach it this way, they can trust you the next time you talk to them. Solve the problem together. And find a deeper connection. (Instead of a stupid argument 🙂 )
Let’s start. Answer these questions in your head right now.
Who do you have some conflict with or want to understand further?
think of your answer here...Imagine they’re in front of your right now. What bugs them about the situation?
think of your answer here...If you had the same thought or belief, how would you want them to treat you?
think of your answer here...
Great. Treat them like that next time you meet.
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