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- Why Agency Is Good For Your Mental Health
“I can buy myself flowers... I can take myself dancing. I can hold my own hand” - Miley Cyrus”
Agency is your empowerment to get the things you want. Miley was waiting for love, until she realized she could get it on her own. It’s a sense of belief that you can live how you want, do what you like, and feel what you want to feel, without needing external aid. Paul Conti believes that agency + gratitude = generative drive = good mental health.
In the first of four episodes about mental health, he spoke about someone who enjoys gardening. The guy always went to his backyard and gardened. But something happened, maybe it was losing a job, failing, or feeling lonely and demoralized that made him stop.
After that, whenever he looked out the window, he would feel lousy and terrible. The garden was messy. He really wanted to change but didn’t. After the bad experience, he felt he lost his agency. But imagine if he worked on some things here and there. To foster a sense of agency that slowly pushes the needle.
So that one day he will look out and think “I overcame all that to create the garden. And it worked”.
Action for the day
The belief of “oh, I can do this” or “this is my life”, is profound to optimizing any kind of mental health. It’s similar to the high you get when you first ever start working out and see progress.
You don’t have to garden. But you can still experience this. You need to do something that makes you feel agency. So, right now, yes right now, choose to do something because you want to. Not because you have to.
start with something tiny: close your phone, reach out to someone, play some music, declutter your room, brush your teeth, wear a new type of clothes, go to a sauna, plan a trip, or just stand up and walk. Anything you want.
It’s not the activity. It’s the empowerment you feel from making a choice.
So Reader… what will you do to feel agency…?
Here are some stories for inspiration:
Kevin's Desk Organization: Kevin felt overwhelmed with work and life responsibilities. One afternoon, he decided to take a small step and organize his cluttered desk. This simple act of tidying brought him a sense of control and clarity, boosting his mood and productivity.
Samantha's Music Journey: Samantha always wanted to learn the piano but kept postponing it, waiting for the 'right time'. One day, she decided to stop waiting and bought a keyboard. She felt a surge of empowerment each time she learned a new song, realizing she was capable of achieving her goals independently.
Leah's Solo Travel: Leah always dreamed of traveling but feared doing it alone. One day, she booked a solo trip to a place she'd always wanted to visit. The trip, filled with self-discovery and independence, empowered Leah, teaching her the value of taking charge of her own experiences and happiness.
Do you know what they felt after that? Fulfilled. They felt great from the activity and even after. This is great for your mental health. Try one of the early examples.
Bye !
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